One in five gay men worldwide have engaged in chemsex. This is the piece that tells you what it actually is, what it does to your brain, your soul, and your sexuality, and what it takes to get out.

There's a particular kind of disorienting clarity that may arrive multiple years into sobriety, after all the early recovery fog finally lifts, and you discover your new life doesn’t exactly feel like the one you had expected or hoped for. You've rebuilt your finances. You've repaired the relationships that addiction fractured. You got the job, built a stable home environment, and maybe even acquired a sponsor and some close friends in the program. You've collected the promi

Why the First 90 Days of Sobriety Feel So Lonely for Gay Men The day I walked out of a 28-day inpatient program and into a sober living home with eleven strangers, I had no idea what I was stepping into, or who the hell I was anymore. I had just spent a month with one group of people I didn't know, and I was about to spend the next however-many months with another group I didn't know, in a state I barely knew. I was leaving behind every single person, place, and version of my

I spent nearly a decade in the first step. Not stuck, just not ready. Every (re)lapse was a reservation I hadn't surrendered yet. Here's what the field research finally taught me.